I'm unsure why, but both my babies had a horrible case of dry skin.
With my first child I found a solution pretty easy. As a first time mom I didn't know not to bath my baby everyday. We were giving him a bath every night as part of his bedtime routine and I thought consistency was key. Another thing I learned was that Johnson & Johnson products are harsh on your newborn babies skin. So are solution for Asher was, A bath every 3 days along with Cetaphil wash & lotion.
Asher's skin improved. He no longer has dry skin and is now able to use Johnson & Johnson products.
Let's talk about my second child. Aubriella's skin is SO dry! So from the knowledge I already have from the first time around, I immediately stuck with no bath every night and Cetaphil wash & lotion. But this did not solve the problem.
After doing some research and the basic knowledge I have about dry skin I formed a new approach.
These were all items I had around the house and are safe for your baby!
3 items you need:
Olive Oil is a natural skin moisturizer and helps prevent water from evaporating
Oatmeal fights dryness and help maintain skin's natural barrier function. it cleanses and moisturizes. Oatmeal also has antioxidants that have anti-inflammatory properties
Is a routine with a newborn and 2 year old toddler even possible?
I'm here to tell you it is! Believe it or not!
When I had Asher, as a first time mom, I had no idea how to get him on a routine. I read books, talked to other mom's, and tried a few routine schedules. Nothing seemed to work. Asher was a very difficult baby.
It took awhile but between 4 to 6 months we finally starting perfecting a routine.
Aubriella is just over a month old and for the most part we are in a pretty good routine. Some days are more successful than others, but everyone is still adjusting.
I remember the morning my husband went back to work. (He was only off for 5 days with us. ) I got up with my husband and showered, made coffee, washed bottles, and got a few things ready for the day. I sat there in the bed thinking there is no way this is going to go smooth with 2.
I heard the door from the kitchen to the garage shut and knew in 30 seconds the house was going to fall apart. To my surprise it didn't. Aubriella and Asher were both still sleeping. Where is the chaos now that daddy left?
There are a few things I did before the arrival of Aubriella that has made our lives so much easier with 2! Check out my other blog posts!
During the day there are 2 routines that go on.
Getting on a pumping schedule is one of the best things I did. I was all over the place first time around. This lead to engorgement and always being uncomfortable.
I produce a lot of milk. I mean A LOT. I will nurse and then pump afterwards.
I will soon be going back to work so a pumping schedule is exactly what I need.
I pump at:
My Routine/ Kids Routine:
We tried to keep Asher's routine the same as it was before Aubriella was born. Somethings haven't changed but other's have. Also Asher not going to the sitter is throwing him off. He soon will start going back and I think that will help him even more.
I get up at 6 am, pump, SHOWER, make coffee, wash bottles, & write out my "To Do" list for the day.
Adam & I then do our "chores" once the kids go to bed. Finish laundry, do the dishes, empty trash cans, tidy up, or bills.
So far this routine has been working out great for us! I will soon be heading back to work so I'm sure we may need to revamp the schedule just a little.
So this is out of my niche and not normally what I would blog about. I thought it would make a great topic though and hopefully could help someone else going through the same thing.
This is not something you can prepare for and not something you would expect to happen.
On May 10th 2018 my mother in law passed away. On May 16th 2018 our daughter was born. 6 days apart we lost a life and gained a life. Pretty crazy to think that all happened in a week. One of the saddest days followed by one of the happiest days. All in a week. It was been quite the journey but I feel we are managing very well!
My husband does not always do the best when a tragedy happens. He tends to shut down and become absent in life. I could not have this happen. I needed him to stay focused, I needed him to be there for me, for our daughter, and our 2 year old son. But I also understood that he needed time to grieve.
I wanted to share some tips and how we have been handling this situation in hopes that this could help someone else in this situation.
1. Take Time
Make sure to take time to grieve. Don't keep it bottled up inside. Take time to do the tasks that are at hand. Such as funeral arrangements, cleaning out a loved ones belonging, and making phone calls to settle anything that is left behind. Do this on your time and don't try to do it all at once and become too over whelmed.
Take time to enjoy the happy moment. Do not feel guilty for enjoying the life of your newborn and your family. Take time to cherish that moment.
2. Be Patient
This is a hard one for me. I am not a patient person. What I mean by be patient is, be patient with your significant other. Their mind is out in left field. It is going to take some time for them to heal and to get back to "normal". Adam's thought process is cluttered with all the new tasks at hand and sometimes can't focus and make decisions.
3. Talk about it
I have been with my husband for 6 years. I am really good at reading him. I don't bring up his mom unless he does. When he does talk about her I listen to him talk. Sometimes he just needs to talk. I let him do it on his time though. Leaving out your feelings is a great way to cope.
4. Have a Game Plan
There are a lot of responsibilities that can fall on someone after losing a loved one. Such as funeral expenses, debt, dealing with a vehicle and so on. If your loved one does not have life insurance and a Will this can make things a little more difficult.
I am a planner. My husband won't admit it but I know that is one of my qualities my husband does admire about me. I immediately got a game plan together to try and help lessen his load. Even though I am not Power of Attorney, I am able to write down things my husband needs to do, places he needs to call, and get paper work/ things in order for him for the next day. Having some sort of a game plan not only helps you be organized in what all needs done, but helps keep your mind on track to the tasks at hand.
Not only did we have a game plan for my mother in law, we also had a game plan for the arrival of Aubriella. I had a birth plan which was a big help and had everything planned out as to who would have our 2 year old and how to keep his routine as normal as possible.
So this may sound a little ridiculous but I try to praise my husband. Adam was given 3 days off of work when his mother passed. In those 3 days he was so successful. From calling places to running all over the county, he got in done. He has been handling this situation so well and trying to stay focused and keep his mind in check. Every time he accomplishes a task I let him know how successful his day was and now we can check that off the list. It may sound silly but I really feel its helping him.
6. Embrace New Life
I feel its very ironic how this all worked out. How do you lose someone and then 6 days later have a baby? I push Adam to embrace Aubriella's birth all the time. I am thankful for her making her arrival so quickly because it kept my husband so busy. It kept his mind in a good place. He was so busy with our son and being back and forth at the hospital that his mind didn't have time to shut down. I wanted him to embrace her life and not regret in a few years that he wasn't in the right mind frame.
7. Keep Daily Routine
Trying to keep things "normal" definitely help. We tried to keep our daily routines the same and just add in tasks that needed accomplished as they fitted our schedule. Not only does it help our kids staying on their routine, but also helped the both of us not feel overwhelmed. This kind of goes hand in hand with taking time.
8. Stay Strong & United
I try to be very strong for my husband. I only once cried in front of him about his mom. I don't want him to see me upset and then he gets upset. I was not very close with my mother in law but the whole situation is very sad. It is a very emotional time. I feel through both of these situations it has actually brought my husband and I closer together. These situations have united us closer together than ever. We rely on each other and need each other's support and love.
Next week will be a month since both events happened. We did get a lot accomplished, but still have more to complete. We are taking our time and proceeding on with our lives. We are soaking up every moment with our kiddo's. One day they will not be this small. They keep us going and very busy so we can move forward.
Why I chose to let my baby sitter potty train my son.
I must of read multiple posts about "potty training in 3 days" "potty training before 1" potty training this and potty training that. I was so overwhelmed! I felt I had to conquer this before Asher was 1. Well Asher turned 1 and was not even walking. So I decided he wasn't ready. Next step was once Asher was walking, I HAD to have him potty trained in 3 days.
Asher began walking around 13-14 months. So I decided it was time to potty train. I was determined that in 3 days Asher would be potty trained. I took 3 days off of work and there we sat in the bathroom.
It was the most stressful thing ever! Asher was so upset and I was so frustrated. He was not ready at all!
Fast forward from 14 months to 22 months old.
I have the most AMAZING sitter! I really do! She has 3 boys. Her youngest is 6 years old. She only watches Asher. She dedicates the days she has Asher, just to Asher. They play, she teaches him things, & she interacts with him. Asher is 22 months old,he can count to 10, if you show him a number he can tell you what number it is, and he even knows 3 colors! (red, blue, Green)
My sitter and I talked and she thought around spring time we could give it a try. Asher started telling me when he would go in his diaper. I figured he was understanding what was going on.
After the last fiasco, I wanted to take a back seat. This honestly takes a lot of patience and consistency. I am a full time working mom. On my day off I typically have to get my "adulating duties" completed. I was going to have to be dedicated this time and learn patience myself. My sitter has already potty trained all 3 of her boys and a few other children that she used to watch. She knew exactly what she was in for and what she was doing.
Around middle of March we started. I brought over his little potty and all the supplies she had requested. Here is our method of potty training!
The first week was more of just transitioning and getting Asher comfortable with the change. She would baby gate her and Asher into the kitchen area and they would stay there pretty much all day. Asher was put in his big boy underwear and a shirt. That is all. She started by asking him every 20ish minutes if he needed to use the potty and would take him to the potty to sit. He was not fond of it was first. She would give him her Ipad to play a game or play music. He also always brought his cars with him! By the end of the week he was getting the hang on it
She noticed that when Asher would go it was going everywhere and that the little potty was not working very well. She bought a potty seat for the actual toilet. Still in the kitchen and Asher still in his underwear they stayed for this week. She did not take him every 20 minutes now. She would allow him to go longer stretches. Asher was getting the hang of it though and only had 2-3 accidents this week.
Asher was pretty much potty trained during the day for my sitter. He understood the process and did not need the Ipad to sit on the potty. This week Asher was allowed in other parts of her home because his accidents were very little to none. He knew where the potty was and when she would ask if he needed to go potty he would run to the bathroom and wait for her to put him on the potty. Asher will not tell her if he has to potty but he shows signs of needing to go. My sitter is very good at picking up the signs and immediately asks as soon as she sees he needs to go.
So by now as stated above Asher is completely potty trained for my sitter except for nap time. It was NOT going this was at home. At home was AWFUL! There were tears of not wanting to use the potty, kicking, screaming, and running away from the potty. I again found myself very frustrated, but I kept with it. Why won't he potty for me? What am I doing wrong?
Asher now is allowed everywhere at the sitter's and wears underwear and his pants at the sitter's. No accidents and uses the potty. I couldn't be any happier! At the same time I was beyond frustrated with how it was going at home. My sitter is so sweet and offered to spend my day off with me at our house potty training Asher! I woke up that Tuesday morning and was determined. I made it so I had no "adult duties". As soon as Asher woke up the big boy underwear went on and we started. We played all morning in the kitchen and dining room and finally while in the middle of playing Asher stood up and looked at me. That had to be a sign! I said "do you have to go potty?" Up the stairs he went to the bathroom and waited for me to sit him on the potty! Success!!
My sitter arrived 10 minutes after he used the potty for me. I was so excited to tell her the news. She stayed until nap time observing and telling me his morning routine at her house. He pottied the whole time she was there. No tears, no fuss, and no screaming.
I laid Asher down for his nap and my sitter left. I kind of thought Asher would not continue now that she had left. Once up from his nap I put the big boy underwear on and we were back at it!
From that day forward Asher now uses the potty all day long! He still needs either a pull up or diaper at naps and bedtime. He doesn't always tell us when he needs to go. Sometimes he says "potty", grabs himself, does a potty dance, or even just runs up to the bathroom.
My goal was to have him potty trained before his sister arrived. Although he is not fully potty trained, i'll take that he is potty trained during the day!
To all the Mama's out there frustrated, just know that there is not a time frame that potty training needs to be accomplished. As you can see it literally took a month of being consistent and having patience to get Asher potty trained. Some would tell me that he was not ready. Asher was ready. He is very smart and knows what he is doing. He was able to tell me when he pooped in his diaper and understood that he sits on the potty to go to the bathroom.
I'm really hoping this helped some of you who are starting the potty training process or thinking about it!
Here are the links to the 2 potty's I purchased. Asher only used and currently uses the seat that goes on the toilet.
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Momma of 2